Thursday, May 14, 2009
He breaks me, over and over, with those three little words.
I miss you.
That's it. That is all that was on the screen of my cell phone. Nothing earth shattering, nothing life changing, nothing I didn't already know, but there it was, and can someone tell me why those words hurt just as much, no, even more than the harsher ones?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Well, let's face it - everything at the Sapphire Grill is divine. I am particuarly fond of the tiramisu. Would it be overly pathetic to drive three hours one way alone for some?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I am so grateful for so many things today!
~I had a wonderful time at the Tarot Geeks meeting. It is so fun to talk to people who share interests, and there is such a feeling of good energy there.
~I am enjoying the spring weather so much, the cloud as well as the lemony sunshine.
~Little Big Man and I had a great time eating bagels and swilling lattes, well he was swilling hot chocolate, this morning, just the two of us.
~I am able to preorder a cute, cute, cute 8 Bit Tarot now!
~I am enjoying my reread of A Song of Fire and Ice by George R.R. martin so much!
THE EX is moving away from the condo complex we have both been living in for the last nine months. This has been good for the kids, indifferent for me, but apparently hard for him and his girlfriend. I don't see why it should be, but who am I to judge them?
I don't want my baby away from me for a week at a time. I don't want her to have to change schools, make new friends, and settle in all over again. I don't care about seeing him with the woman he cheated on me with, not now, but it was good to have us both so close to the same school for the kids.
It would be good if, at some point, we could get enough healing in our lives to be able to be on good terms again. I don't hate him anymore. I did, for a while, but as I grow and learn and let go of the sadness, I have let go of the hate as well. I just wish my girl would always be near.
Day 21- Nothing interesting enough has really been happening on the medication front. I was moved up to double the dose I began with. I do not seem to be suffering too many side effects, but for that dreaded one, and I am not testing that theory yet.
I still HATE the idea that I have to take a pill to "be normal". Everyone else manages to manage their life just fine, but I need outside help, and that rankles.
I have been sleeping a lot, going back to sleep after kidkins go to school, taking naps when I get home from work, but I probably need it. I work hard, physically, and school really took a toll on me this semester. The sleeping could be a side effect of the medication, but honestly, it is nice to sleep peacefully for once. It has been months, maybe even years, since I have slept well, and I did not know how precious it was until I didn't have it anymore.