Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Lexapro Diaries - Day 2

Day 2 - My stomach was upset all day. I did not feel nervous anxiety much today, but I did not have to work or go to school, either, which seem to be the big triggers of it for me. If I could just stay home I would be okay, haha.

I wasn't going to cry at all today, but then I did. I found some old letters from S, but I guess there is improvement because normally I would have been off on a crying jag that lasted for hours, and left me with a raging headache, snot dripping down my lip, and simply wrung limp as a rag. Today's tears just slid out from my eyelids, and across my cheek. It was pain, but it was exquisite, razor sharp pain, it was focused and manageable, not the diaphanous cloud of pain with no beginning and no end. That is the worst of it, I think, when you can't see the way out. I don't mind hurting as much if I can know that there is a place where it ends.

Halfway considering a one night stand before I get side effects in earnest. That one in particular...


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